Tired.....

Today I don’t feel ok, I just opened my eyes in the morning and realized that I'm still broken, that in my heart is standing the uncontrollable pain of countless scars made through time...... and I'm so tired

I have remembered you again my son.... my little Arthur, I feel shame of myself, every single second I think that I have turned my back on you, every minute my soul cries because I can't feel you   in my arms, but I will beg for your forgiveness, I'll bow my head and go in my knees if is necessary for you to understand that I did not want for you to have a broken father, one that you will be ashamed of....... and I'm so tired......

Also I tough of you, the girl that I love, the one that I swore to be forever with, the one that I always told that I will take care of and will protect, the one that hurtled me, the one that broke me when I was still in pieces, the one that said that she will try to fix me....Fer I’m sorry, please forgive me If I have failed you..... But I am tired.... I'm so tired....

For the two best friends that I have, Edward and Blaire, for both of you I would like to ask for your forgiveness, because I feel that I am not worthy of your invaluable friendship, because you are always there for me, when I don’t need you, and when I need you are there even more, It does not matter if you are far away, but now I just realize that I will always need you my dear friends..... And I am so tired.

For all my family, for my mom, that I have hurtled so much trough time, for Pops, forgive me if I have disappointed you in any way, but I still need you, and I miss you every day.......for my brother Hector,  forgive me, please forgive me, I know that sometimes you needed me and I was not there, forgive me for being so selfish, for being an asshole with you, but I would like for you to know that I still love you as my brother, and if you need me I'll be here for you..... But I am so tired......

Today I opened my eyes feeling broken, wishing for everything to end, wishing for people to stop hiding things from me, cause it hurts even more when I realize in their minds, wishing for no one to betray me, no one to hurt me, no one to broke me again....... because I'm tired of it....... I am so tired of it.......